Los Dos

**Found this post from back in July and seemed ever more relevant as I start to think about my next steps and readjustment back to States life.

Perspective. I’ve been the victim of a certain kind of bug bite and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.

Stepping onto US soil for the first time in 14 months and the following readjustment to Nica life threw me for a loop- it was kind of like being a gecko on the bright blue walls of my “casita”. Stepping away from my routine allowed me too look at my norm, here and there, again for the first time. And damn did things look differently this go around.

May 2011: Dogs, roosters, fireworks, buses honking, women shouting “leche”, “tortilla”, etc. I remember the overwhelming sense of stimulation. Nicaragua is one lively place.

Then the initial horror of burning trash comes to mind and being adamant that something had to be done about this situation. I remember thinking of easy answers to everything.

Over a year later, I find myself dropping off my trash to the park. Deep down, I know where it is going- it is going to the ever growing trash pile hidden behind the colorful town cemetery. I might have heard that it has been known to spill into the lake before. OR the trash can be burned, but that will happen from someone else and not from me.

Coming home, Hilton Head. I notice the immediate contrast. Nicely rounded walking paths, manicured lawns, beige colored houses that look the same. The neighbors are tucked away in the trees to secure the privacy of the family inside. In the front of the house lies a home security sign. Everything seems neat and tidy. And- this world- the country I call home seems surprisingly familiar after my time away but it is also so foreign.

Upon return to Nicaragua, the life that had become so normal after a year suddenly seemed unfamiliar. On my trek back to the island, I started to notice the houses made of zinc roofing material that the government gives away to the poor. However, many of these poor don’t even have the materials to have walls so their houses are made from black plastic bags or cardboard. I had come to think that after my time here I had begun to understand Nicaragua but I realize that although I have a greater understanding than many- I will absolutely never be able to comprehend the extreme poverty here.

You see, I have come to realize that I am a girl stuck between two worlds neither here nor there. I find myself in limbo between my “selves”. There is Noelle from the United States who I was and Nicaraguan Noelía* which is who I have become out of survival. Noelle has accumulated five different pairs of red shoes over her time in Nicaragua and brought her truffle salt back from the States while Noelía intentionally puts on her most ragged and holey shirt when going to class because she hates it when students look her up and down and she can see the dollar signs in their eyes.

Noelía has developed an invincible sense of humor to the ridiculous situations that I now call life like missing three buses a day on a weekly basis. And while knowing that I am fuming inside, I can’t help but chuckle while singing Kris Kross’s “I missed the bus” in my head. Or keeping a running tally of the strangest things a rat has eaten out of my house- this week it was an unused “life preserver” in my medical kit but has been known to include a whole box of whole wheat couscous.

I am not really ready to be in the United States, but even though life is simpler here it is far from easier. Neither Noelle nor Noelía now. Just am.

A year and a half in country after my visit home for Christmas vacation:

I’ve been known to be called a “piñolera” (a nickname for Nicaraguans based on their love for the fresh corn, cacao, and milk drink) and that I dance like a Latina and that I have more sass than a Nica- and I love this.

I remember the first couple of months in country and telling myself that I would never wipe my mouth with a tablecloth- and going home I found myself as a foreigner in my own country. I have to remember to use silverware instead of eating with my hands. And it is not culturally acceptable to point at people with puckered mouths.

Sometimes I don’t think my friends and family are able to keep up with the bipolar disorder that is Peace Corps. It is something no one will ever understand. And, I am sorry I don’t have the words to explain it better.

After I stayed in the hospital for two days in January sick with Dengue Fever, I should have boarded a plane. But, for some reason I was more in love with this place than ever. January was full of excitement.. I sent off my graduate school applications, planned Camp GLOW, did a 3 day jewelry exchange in Boaco with women teaching them recycled jewelry making, and had a training with Peace Corps.

Municipal Product Fair and Entrepreneurship Competition

A little over a year ago, I arrived half way through the school year and attempted to try and introduce an entrepreneurship course within three high schools on the island. My work has consisted of  training local professors in and co-teaching the class. Since February of this year, my current seniors have received  the course and worked  to complete a  business plan for a creative product that they have chosen utilizing local  resources within the community.  

This past week, we held the first product fair and entrepreneurship  competition on the island of Ometepe as a way for the students to present all of their hard work they had prepared throughout the year. 

Sometimes as volunteers working within education, work can be frustrating, feeling as though we are not seeing the fruits of our efforts. To be honest, this year felt like every time I took one step forward, I turned around and we were four steps backwards.However, the day of the competition, after working within the  Nicaraguan school system for over a year, it felt as if it had been worth it. 

The day of the event ran very smoothly mostly due to everyone stepping up to the plate to lend a handing hand. We work for sustainability here, and after coordinating the event with my local counterparts, it was nice to arrive day of and watch things run their course.  Also, I had an excellent panel of judges that basically ran the show themselves.On the judges panel, there were two representatives from Centro Empresarial Pellas  (the CSR branch of the largest Nicaraguan business, a consortium of over 20 companies) who run  a co-investment program to help tourism related businesses on the island as well as provide business advising, a promoter on the island for the ministry of tourism, and a local animated business owner who is also the head of the association for small business owners in the community.

 Because of their professional backgrounds, I have to admit I was a little nervous about what they would think of the kids’ plans. I mean these are high school seniors with no former experience in running a business?   However, the judges seemed to really enjoy the presentations. One of the judges that can be an especially hard nut to crack continued  to praise the program. He basically said that he works for the top business  venture in Central America and had no  prior experience writing a business plan until his last classes in the university. He continued to reiterate to the students that he wished he had been able to participate in this sort of program and that the students should really take advantage of the opportunity.  The other judges also seemed very keen to support these up and coming micro-businesses if at all possible including promoting the products in their businesses, etc. 

Competition was fierce. The top two teams are able  to proceed to the regional competition between the departments of Rivas, Granada, and Carazo. After much deliberation, the judges decided that the winners of the first product fair and entrepreneurship competition in the municipality of Altagracia 2012:

3^rd place: Coffee made from Okra Seeds (El Buen Gusto)

2^nd place: Natural Fruit Smoothies (Nutri-Fruti)

And the winner is... Natural Coconut Oil (Coco)

Other notable products that came out of the course this year:

Cinnamon soap, organic pesticide, aloe vera shampoo, soap made from lard and ash, avocado oil, cough syrup from honey, carved wood jewelry, cookies made from fresh cacao, mango pomade, cashew fruit honey, coffee flan, almond oil, organic coffee, pineapple jelly, beet slushies, plantain flour, tamarind jelly, carrot cookies, organic compost..

 And special shout out:

 Big Tuni Light.. A New World Full of Light and Happiness.

Yes- one student group wanted to make a fireworks business. 

Usually social studies courses are seen as “filler courses” in the school system here focusing on things like gardening, sewing, and woodwork. And because the project was introduced this year, the students started into the school year not knowing what to  expect of the class. Like most high school students, the idea of a business plan was very much a foreign concept. I  recognize that they   had never done this type of work before, and I was extremely proud of the projects that came from these students. In the end, they did take  pride in the project and  understood the importance of entrepreneurship and possibilities that lie within  their communities. If you cannot tell, I am so proud and impressed with them. Until the last minute some of them were fighting to perfect their work and as said in Nicaragua, are “luchadores” within their communities.  

This year was also a challenge for the teachers that I have been co-teaching the course with and without their hard work, availability, and talent this would not have been possible.  Because there is still no formal training for entrepreneurship in Nicaragua, these teachers are often coerced into teaching the course with no background in the content let alone the proper  resources to teach themselves the material. The competition was an excellent opportunity for them to see how far they have come.  

At the end of the day both teachers and students left feeling proud of their work and that is all that I could have hoped for.  

Now we are on to prepare  for the regional competition. Wish us luck.

Okra Coffee: Toasted and ground okra seeds. A tasty, caffeine free alternative.  

I have had a number of local businesses interested in promoting student products and even potential funding options to help with start-up. This is an exciting time with many  opportunities for these youth. Let’s hope they have the courage to take the next steps and make this a reality.

For more information about the Entrepreneurship course, check out the following links:

Web: www.laempresacreativa.com

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/emprendedurismonicaragua

Youtube: www.youtube.com/emprendedurismonica

Volcanoes

Before arriving in Nicaragua, I had never seen a volcano.. in “real life”. Now, Conception’s crown covered in smoke and images of Maderas have become a part of my daily life and “recuerdo” of the Island of Ometepe. Depending of where I am working during the week, I walk outside to see their looming peaks and can’t help but realize the sense of respect that I have for them. Visions of the Blue Ridge Mountains remind me of home and now these volcanic images have come to represent my home for the meantime here on Ometepe.

woman fishing at Punta Jesus de Maria 

Nicaragua is often called the land of lakes and volcanoes. A string of twelve both active and non-active volcanoes stretch from the northwest of the country and Ometepe’s Concepcion and Maderas volcanoes end the row. The image of a smoking volcano is iconic for Nicaraguans. And for Ometepinos, especially. Just come to my entrepreneurship class and you will see literally every group’s business plan includes the two volcanoes as its logotype. 

 A week ago an alert was sent out following the 7.9 earthquake that hit Costa Rica and was felt strongly still in Nicaragua that there was potential volcanic activity as a result.

This alert stated that there was volcanic activity in the San Cristobol volcano located in the northwest of Nicaragua in the department of Chinandega. (I live in the southwest of the country much closer to the Costa Rican border). San Cristobol erupted three times last Saturday. By erupt I mean that the volcano was throwing ash, gas, and rocks. There has been no lava flow- that is pretty rare. More than anything, it seems the potential threat is with air quality. Over the week their was sporadic activity which continued through yesterday. 42 volunteers from the departments of Chinandega and Leon were safely evacuated from their sites and everyone is okay aside from being bored and broke from having to stay in Managua.

Island of Ometepe (Conception on left, Maderas on right).

Throughout the week, I have been highly observant since I live on a volcanic island and usually it seems can never get transportation when I actually want to get off. Today is Nicaragua’s Independence Day and they take their holidays very seriously here. A vacation day is not to be tampered with even if the state government has been alerted of a potential volcano eruption.This means no transportation... Ay Senor, only in Nicaragua.

Two years ago there was an notification sent out to evacuate the island because of eruption. CARE international had undertaken a project to enact emergency response measures and had drawn up extensive evacuation plans. However, noone left. Ometepinos said that this is where their home, family, and land were. So, if the volcano was going to erupt, they were going with it.

Two reasons also come to mind of why this happened. In the event of an emergency evacuation, I doubt everyone would be able to get off the island. Sufficient infrastructure of buses and boats simply does not exist. Because a sense of community is incredibly strong in Nicaragua, I imagine most think “we are all in this together” and if my neighbor can’t go- I am not going to go either. Also, in our culture we buy things that say things like “live each day as if it is your last”, but fatalism is very much ingrained into the Nicaraguan culture. In a sense all of this is a very beautiful thing. However, when I say, “Hasta Mañana” (see ya tomorrow) for a meeting, still I find myself a little peeved when the response is, “si dios quiere” (if God wants it).

I told Don Mario yesterday that I was heading off the island after the alert was sent out that there was activity in the volcano on the island. He told me that since I am an islander, I should stick around through the weekend with all the other islanders to watch the eruption and we would all be together. This is normal and just a part of life here. I think, indeed, I have become much more fatalistic in my time here. While everyone says I am “isleña” now, I am not sure I am that isleña quite yet.

I’ll be on a boat at midnight tonight, don’t worry Mom.

Time

So the other Monday, I found myself running around the house sucking down my morning cup of coffee and rushing through my icy morning shower to go and plan with a professor. The boys at my old host family’s house had broken my bike again. So, I was going to take off on foot.

This week, I was changing my routine and starting to plan with my professor on Monday mornings. This means a 20 minute walk first thing to her house in a nearby community, then taking a bus to a pueblo an hour away, teaching class all afternoon at the high school, then briskly walking to make it to my women’s math class at the community center. Finally, I catch the six o’clock bus back. Get home at seven and plan with another teacher for Tuesday’s classes until eight. This is my Monday.

I’ll admit, this morning, I sure had a case of the Mondays. I had had a long weekend and was wondering how I was going to get through the day because I was having a hard time shaking some recent events. 

I guess I was completely in my own head. I passed the loud primary school with teachers yelling over the students and didn’t seem to notice that I almost tripped on a rock on the path. I looked up to see Señor Guillen. I’d been friends with his family, gone milking cows with his sons, and we often would see eachother around town and wave. He looked especially “elegante” or sharp this day complete with a freshly ironed button-down, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat. Seemed that he’d just been taking a stroll, visiting family or gone to talk business with somebody about land- who knows?

He obviously could sense the hurried nature of my clumsy steps. And per usual, we did the whole “hola, buen día, cómo ameneció..” thing. He stopped and began to ask me how things had been and how the island was treating me. I said something about being late for a meeting as I was still about a 15 minute walk away from my professor’s house. He then said the most beautiful thing to me.

“cuando hay amor, hay tiempo por todo.”

“when there is love, there is time for everything.” I thanked him and continued on the walk. If anything, a lot more in my head than before.

Time has been a reoccurring “issue” for volunteers in the Peace Corps. I spend more time either waiting for the bus.. Or running after it in my daily life than anything else. 

After a year and three months, I still sometimes am baffled and feel like I am in that scene in Love Actually where Mr. Bean is wrapping up the Christmas present.. Anyone get that reference?

I find myself almost two weeks later still thinking about this. Don’t know what it is, but that wise Señor Guillen must have been reading my mind. 

As we have “progressed” or “developed” in a “western” society we have begun to try and manipulate time. We attempt cut the time it takes to do anything in half and pride ourselves on how efficient we can do a task. We try to cram one more thing on our to-do list for the day and feel a sense of guilt if we have the time to take a 30 minute nap after lunch. We tend to evaluate and measure ourselves based on the amount that is accomplished in one day. 

We can get into talks of why this perhaps makes the US and other Asian countries, who have this ingrained in their cultures, the “worlds economic powers” all day... But many times we look past the negative externalities that are created as a result.. especially within our relationships with eachother.

Note: I am not in any way exempting myself from these observation. I am just as guilty as the next guy. 

These days, time has become the all-encompassing excuse. We tell ourselves that we don’t have time to do the things that we really want to do. But, we also tell others we don’t have the “time” to spend with them. Over time, we lose touch because life gets busy and we don’t have time to catch up. And, because time has become the ultimate and accepted excuse for everything, we don’t really question it. 

As said, when there is love, there is time for everything. And, yes, we are all busy. 

Time is an excuse. And excuses are made most likely because you really don’t want to do something. However, if you want something bad enough, forget about the time piece and go for it.

Love is so much more powerful than time, and I am not really sure when we got that backwards. I am not just talking about intimate love, I am also talking about passion and what makes all of us tick and truly happy. If you want to sit on the porch in a rocking chair and read a book, make it happen. And, before you open you mouth next time and tell someone that you don’t have time.. Just don’t. That is a pretty hurtful thing to say to both yourself and to someone else. If you want something, you make it happen. If that takes reevaluating your true intentions or re-prioritizing your time, so be it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIE2GAqnFGw

Attention Yogis!

Greetings! As most of you know by now, I work mostly with small business development, and I am primarily teaching Entrepreneurship in the public high schools. However, from the get-go, I realized that I was very interested in working with local women in the community as well. A current project in the community is creating a common space for women that can focus on health and education for local women. This project has been inspiring as it has been a grassroots effort, dreamed up and started entirely by a Nicaraguan woman in the community, which will greatly attribute to the overall sustainability of the project.

In my town, there is an incredible woman named Karla. Some in town call her the “Psycholoca” of my town..or crazy psychologist. However, this strong woman has been at the forefront of any and every effort for women’s work in a community... And this is a breath of fresh air. 

Karla began talking one day about creating a gym in town. We all thought she was pretty crazy. Then one day, she ran down the street yelling that everyone should come a check out her gym as her dream started coming true. I walked next door to find four dinky pieces of exercise equipment circa 1980. Maybe I didn’t necessarily give her the benefit of the doubt. But, the people started exercising. Over time and little by little, the gym has gone from free weights made from cement in baby formula cans to an actual weight or two. You can walk down the street of my town on any given evening past the once abandoned house that has become a gym and hear the reggaeton music blaring. And as you peer in, you see a solid presence--especially of women.

The women have now begun asking for yoga classes and even aerobics classes. I have held basic yoga classes focusing on the importance of breath, stretching, and knowing their body--which can be a new concept for these women.

This gym has been an amazing community development project to witness. Eventually, a fellow health volunteer and I may start to look for grant opportunities to expand the current building and create more opportunities for the women including business classes, art classes, pilates classes, access sexual and reproductive health information, etc. More than anything it is important for the women to have a safe and comfortable common space in a town that traditionally has not had many women’s programs. But for now it is best to start small. We have been using old towels and blankets as yoga mats. But, sometimes it is hard for the women to find an extra towel in their house, and currently, there is only one torn yoga mat in the gym. 

I am collecting donations of spare or old yoga mats that may be hanging around the house and just collecting dust. I think there are probably enough old mats out there before we focus on getting ahold of new mats. I am asking yoga studios in my home state to announce in their classes that if any students have any spare or old yoga mats that the would be willing to donate, please bring them into the studio so that I may collect them for the community center in Nicaragua. 

I will be back in the States until July 20 and would be willing to coordinate how to meet up with anyone interested in donating a mat, especially in the Charleston/ Hilton Head, South Carolina area.

Any questions what so ever.. Please feel free to contact me at london.noelle@gmail.com. I really appreciate your support in announcing this opportunity and for helping to make this project a reality.

The (unconventional) Packing List

Looking back over the last (almost!) year I have been a Peace Corps volunteer, I realize that I have learned to live a heck of a lot simpler. Goodbye red wine and cheese..no, I wouldn’t consider Nica “queso” cheese. But, I have been very lucky to have had some excellent care packages sent along the way. Thank you everyone for thoughtfully taking the time to send me surprises and once in a blue moon a body bag of goodies to keep me going.

While this experience has yet to improve my staying in touch skills, know that your letters, emails and news of the new in life  absolutely make my days and sometimes weeks.

It is hard to imagine that the next group of business volunteers come May 9^th and somehow, I am now supposed to be one of the old and wise ones.

I think back on those last couple of months in the States and the frequent question of my Mom being, “well how many pairs of shoes are you going to take?”  I remember reading and re-reading the packing lists on other Peace Corps blogs reassuring me that I’m not camping for two years (at least not the entire time). I thought I would try to help out the incoming group with a list of the 15 things that I’m most grateful I brought (or eventually figured out I missed and had sent). It does sound a little ridiculous I’ll admit, but you have to remember you will be here for two years and need to be as happy as possible. These are unconventional suggestions and perhaps frivolous but made the cut:

1. Music, music, music.. without it I don’t know where I would be.
2. my Bunny. He is much more than a stuffed animal but I guess I will describe him as that to those that haven't had the pleasure to meet him.
3. French Press
4. Headlamp
5. Sriacha
6. Day pack (backpack)
7. Stuff for hobbies (jewelry making for me)
8. Spring roll wrappers and vermicelli noodles
9. Tea (chai, green, earl grey) and hot chocolate, damn is that 2 things?
10. Baby wipes when there is no water.
11. Spices (thyme, sage, powdered ginger, curry paste)
12. Face sunscreen. Get something that you like so that you will actually where it and age 5 instead of 10 years here.
13. Incense
14. Dr. Bronners all in one soap.. For everything.
15. Vegetable peeler

The first, annual Ometepe University Fair 2012.

Event planning is stressful in the United States, now remember folks that I live in Nicaragua. And, we can just say things run a little bit differently here. This is a culture that when you ask someone to confirm their presence they respond with “si Dios quiere” or “Dios primero” which means if God wants it, it will happen. Or telling someone to arrive at 8:00 am means within the hour of eight o’clock if they show up at all. These aren’t exactly the circumstances you hope for when trying put on an event of some caliber.

After hearing “si Dios quiere” a few too many times, it obviously meant that, in fact, God did not want to donate to my university fair. So, I headed out as a gringa (white girl) to ask Nicaraguans for money. Now based on the blank stares I received, I am pretty sure they were wondering why I as the white girl was asking them for money. Humiliating. 

To put the past two months of work into perspective, some days were kind of hellish. For example, I tried for a three weeks every other day to talk to someone in the Mayor’s office about supporting the project. Well it just so happens that on this particular day, I decided if I needed to sit there all day long and wait, I would. I really needed a response. I was the first to arrive at 7:30 and soon a large group filtered in to support a local woman.  As I sat in the rocking chair next to the woman for two hours, wailing her heart out like I have never in my life heard and holding her dead baby in her arms, I began to question what I was doing. 

Two days later, exhausted and feeling pretty fragile, I was challenged by a nasty business owner (who is in fact an ex-patriot himself) as a young North American pretending to understand my terrain and coming here just to impose my ideas on others. He not only was speaking very poorly of my culture but then went on to say very cruel things about the motivation of locals to better their lives. The poor, old bitter man in fact doesn’t realize that 1. he is profiting off of this island from the North Americans tourists he speaks so poorly of 2. I still can’t believe that for as long as he has lived here and tried to claim this island as home, how could he be so out of touch? Excuse me for trying. I’ve always been a little bit hard headed, so noone is going to tell me that I am not going to be able to do something. This unnamed gentleman went further to complain to the Peace Corps Nicaragua office about a review that went on a travel website after someone heard the conversation. At this point, buddy, there is no way I would even have the time or energy to write such a review.

Disenchanted, this same day, I went home my plan being to try and and sleep it off. Stepping into my latrine I heard a crack. As I felt myself falling farther and farther down on an already broken tailbone, I couldn’t believe that things had gotten to this point. When I tried to climb up the sides of the wall, the dirt broke, I was too far down to pull myself out, noone heard my yells, and I was scared to death of what kinds of creatures were down there. Eventually I found a way finding a way to shimmy my way out. Pardon my french but talk about a day of literally being shit on.

Before I knew it, it was fair day. And kids were showing up.. all 100 of them.

The 10 best students from each of the 10 high schools on the island were invited to attend the first University Fair on the island. The event was held at the local university. At the fair, we started with a review of a vocational exam, and then brought in representatives from 10 universities around the country, organizations to talk about available scholarships, and 5 professionals from the island to speak as role models to the kids. 

After two months of being a crazy workaholic, I can say that I have honestly never done anything like that. I have never fully put myself out there like that and been the sole one responsible for an event of that scale. I continued to think, crap, if I screwed up.. I will have ruined my reputation on the entire island. It’s not like I can pick up and leave to work in another community. Everyone would know. Also, the community had invested their money hoping to see something come from it. I can say it was almost entirely community supported which I am, in fact, very proud of. This means that mean Mr. Unnamed business owner is completely wrong. This is something that members of the community wanted and because they are “the owners” of the project more or less in their funding it is more likely to be continued.

At the beginning of the day when the mass of students started to arrive, I swore that I would never plan an event in Nicaragua again.  This was going to be a disaster. However, as the day wound down and everyone began to leave, I found overcome my emotion as four students approached me to tell me how thankful they were for the opportunity to attend and how the event had opened doors that they’d never known existed.

There are few memorable times in my life that I have truly felt tears of absolute joy. Something happened to me following the event. I discovered a new feeling, a sense of love almost, coming from a place I had never known before. This job can be so hard sometimes when their are breakdowns in communication between cultures, an overwhelming sense of vulnerability, and sometimes you might even get trapped in the bottom of a latrine. But, it is absolutely worth it and I can honestly say that I love my job. It has brought a sense of meaning and purpose to my life that I have never known. Many days that I am here and question what I am doing here at all. However, if I can walk away from this experience having inspired 100 kids from around this island and ask them for the first time ever what they really want to be when they grow up, I think I can walk away content. I may not do everything, but I have at least done something.