Culture Shock

Lately, I’ve noticed that I’m confused pretty much all the time. This is due, partly, to the fact that I don’t speak great Spanish (yet) but gradually I’ve become confused even in my English conversations. Arriving in country, I thought I had almost everything figured out. I knew what my role should and shouldn’t be in my host community. But, I find myself forming a new opinion on something every day. While I know this means I am learning a lot, it makes things especially confusing.

Two weeks into training, my Honeymoon phase with Nicaragua began to disintegrate. I was having a hard time feeling any connection with either my host family or community. Because I was having a hard time, I gave myself an even harder of a time.  Was it the bacterial infection I contracted from eating ceviche in the park? Besides being physically ill, I was emotionally exhausted. Why was I having these feelings? I am living in Nicaragua, this is a dream.

Later in the week, I found Dr. Oberg’s article, “Culture Shock and the Problem of Adjustment to New Cultural Environments”. I found myself fitting the description. In the months leading up to my departure, I would casually skip over anything remotely mentioning culture shock. My reasoning?I’ve traveled to third world- I’m open-minded. I won’t have to deal with culture shock. That only happens to close minded people.

Yeah, I visited third world. During these trips, I felt that I identified with the culture, but I realize now that I always knew deep down I’d be able to leave it behind in a matter of days or weeks. While these experiences were emotionally stimulating, I remained in my safe bubble. In my experience in Nicaragua, however, I am unable to separate myself from the community, because I realize that this is a reality for the people of this community. This is their life. In fact, I am expected to become part of this community to get anything done.

At the same time I started feeling pangs of cultural rift, I began to hear common stereotypes of Americans. Thinking of myself as anything but a typical American these descriptions of the pushy, consuming, results driven American appalled me. I soon found that my culture shock came less from the revelation of Nicaraguan culture but the realization of how engrained my own culture is in me. While everyone tells me different, there are some things I think I’ll never get over here. It breaks my heart that the entire town smells of smoke at all times because everyone burns their trash and I will never enjoy eating rice sandwiches.

I, humbly, post this because I think it’s a very real part of this whole experience and something future volunteers should be prepared for. I also believe that it will most likely be one of my biggest challenges over the next two years. Pero, Estoy accustumbrado.. But, I’m getting accustomed.